Fifty plus dating, is, according to the optimistic; forty plus dating, this is because fifty is the new forty, sixty is the new fifty and so on. A New York Times article reported that seventy- nine million baby boomers, which represent about twenty-six percent of the USA’s population are redefining what it means to be older. The same can be said for much of the population of the western world.
For example, stigma regarding middle-aged and older people looking for love and companionship is hopefully outdated. Seniors in the main are healthier, hardworking and generally look better than our predecessors. The outlook therefore is brighter.
According to a survey taken in 2003, one of the main reasons why people date is to find someone to talk to, and someone to do things with. Sex is important, sure, but it’s not the whole story.
If you are fifty plus and recently divorced, separated or widowed, it may make sense to take a step back and reflect on your life before jumping straight back into a full on relationship. Some of us tend to look for the same type of mate, hoping to create a sense of familiarity, even if the relationship wasn’t all that great. For example a friend of mine tended to only date, strong, wealthy, alpha male types, but then, spent the whole time complaining that she was in danger of losing her own identity and, also, being controlled by them. After a brief spell with a counsellor she discovered that her father was a similar type of man. On the one hand his behaviours made her feel safe, secure, and loved, and on the other she felt stifled, suffocated and not in control of her own life. Getting a balance for her meant living on her own for several months, gaining confidence in her own abilities and have positive experiences without having to lean on anyone other than herself. This respite from relationships gave her an altogether different perspective. She now lives with a Yoga teacher, who eats Vegan food, and is always, laid back, mellow and not in the least wealthy.
Dating in middle age equals baggage, you have both had separate adult lives. This means other children, ex-spouses, mothers, sisters, the list can be endless. We need to accept the other person as an autonomous individual. It isn’t always possible to enter into things as lightly as you may once have done. So I guess the consequences of dating in middle age can have a ripple effect. It takes courage to get back into the dating game, but you really have nothing to lose if you are savvy and confident. For those of us who aren’t, there are dating coaches out there that can help you navigate the whole process.
Putting yourself out there is tough, the best way forward for most of us, is for two strong independent people to get together and just enjoy each other.
Fifty Plus Dating - Dating
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